The Talk
by PottersCharm
Summary: Sirius, James and Remus desperately try to have "the talk" with a 16 year old Harry, being forced to do it properly by Lily.


The Talk

Harry sat opposite his father, godfather and his father's best mate. The table between them had four cups of pumpkin juice and a large bowl full of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. The room itself had furniture in two colours, red and gold. Everyone in the house was a proud Gryffindor. However Harry was the only one attending Hogwarts in the house at the moment, he had just started his sixth year at Hogwarts and was 16 years old. Not much had changed about his appearance, expect he was taller and needed a shave, as Dumbledore once told him in his office. The Potters were a good friend of Dumbledore, Lily and James still regularly visited Hogwarts to pay him a visit. The topic at hand however seemed to be very serious judging by the three men's faces. Harry was slightly nervous… the Marauders never told him off for anything he did so what else could it be?

"So Harry…" Sirius began. "You're nearly of age… and well… we have to have this conversation with you… Lily forced us…"

"What conversation?" asked Harry, puzzled.

"_**The **_conversation, Harry" Sirius continued.

Harry was still very confused about what was going on.

"Sirius, leave this to me." said Remus. "It's the talk, Harry. _**The**_ talk. Every boy's got to have it someday."

Harry's jaw dropped. He looked at his father in disbelief.

"You're kidding right?" Harry questioned.

"We know every teenager nowadays knows about the whole thing but Lily forced us, Harry! So let's just get over this okay?" said James.

The day before Lily had told the marauders to be very serious about the whole topic and to take it seriously. She knew the marauders very well, she knew they would probably joke around and tell Harry all sorts of things. She made sure the whole thing would be talked through properly.

"Hang on… did mum put a charm on all of you?" asked Harry, curiously looking at the men. They all seemed unusually calm and formal.

"No"

"Of course not"

"Where would you get such an idea from?!"

The Marauders all replied at the same time. They were bad liars when they weren't lying to teachers. Harry burst out laughing, he found it amusing how his mum had made sure they would do this all properly. James and Sirius looked slightly ashamed that Harry had figured out how Lily dealt with them. Remus didn't seem to mind though, he looked quite amused.

"Harry!" exclaimed Sirius.

Harry paused and looked up at Sirius.

"We're serious about this!" said Sirius.

It was the wrong thing to say, Harry started laughing uncontrollably once again. A few minutes later Harry's laughter still hadn't stopped.

"I can't do this" said Sirius. Together with James they headed towards the door.

Remus stayed sitting. "I wouldn't do that if I were you" advised Remus.

Sirius walked out of the door first and crashed into an invisible wall that set off some sort of alarm around the house.

"OUCH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Sirius shouted. He grabbed his head in pain and howled on the floor.

A few seconds later Lily appeared on the other side of the wall and stopped the alarm.

"Going somewhere?" she asked innocently.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Lily!" exclaimed James. "Let us out or lift this seriousness charm so we can talk to Harry properly!"

"And by properly do you mean Marauder style?" questioned Lily.

"Well of course." replied Sirius, still holding his head. "We _**are **_the Marauders."

"Whatever" said Lily waving off the complaints, she looked at Harry and Remus. "Well at least _some _people are enjoying themselves. The wall will stay here till you have the talk."

And with that Lily turned and walked away.

"But I'm hungry!" Sirius shouted after her.

"At least Harry's stopped laughing" observed James.

Harry seemed to be quite calm now, although he had a massive, amused grin on his face. James and Sirius sat back down and were determined to get this over and done with. Sirius popped a flavoured bean into his mouth while James tried to carry on with the talk.

"So Harry. Girls. You still like Ginny right?" asked James.

"Of course" replied Harry. "She is kind of my girlfriend, dad."

"Yes I know. Now-"

James was interrupted by a violent coughing fit from Sirius.

"BOGEY FLAVOUR BEAN" shouted Sirius. He spat the contents in his mouth out onto the table. His face looked disgusted along with everyone else's. "Haven't come across one of those in a long time." said Sirius.

James shot Sirius a disapproving look (a habit he'd picked up from Lily) and carried on.

After half an hour of painful talking and many interruptions (Sirius ate a dirt flavoured bean and tried to break through the invisible wall in his animagus form) 'the talk' was finally over. Lily lifted the invisible wall and they were free to do whatever they wanted. As they all walked out of the room Lily asked "It wasn't that hard was it?"


End file.
